Colonia Jesus

Whose Fucking MOJO Is This??????

This week was taken up mainly pootling around looking for my mojo, I think I dropped it somewhere between Colonia Dream and Robardin. Anyway, it was not there when I went back some fucker clearly pocketed it. So, I went to see the old man and for some reason the dickhead was in a good mood, I mean you would expect the creator of the multiverse would be a fairly happy chappy but nah he really is a cantankerous old twat usually. As I said the old git was in a good mood, must have had his oats last night or something, as a result he was able to bestow me with a new mojo. He must have bought it off Uncle Phisto because I spent all week wazzing around like a bee on speed. This mojo was clearly not from a sustainable and traceable source that’s for sure.



With renewed vigour I was up for it, those bitches at the club proper got it, I would say that they would be walking bow legged for a month if that was not normal for them anyway (it is the weight of the extra boob you see). Took the clogger flogger out for a blast and warmed up the guns on a few people and was soon generally feeling just like my old self. I even did my bit to help out the Colonia Limpdicks too, as they are so fucking inept at policing the place I did it for them. Cmdr Hamster-Beaver you paid dearly for that speeding fine and you deserved every last ounce of that frag ammo I donated to your arsehole. Cmdr Brapman summed it up perfectly when he said “CJ has done more anti-griefing work than CL76”



Speaking of the ever-invisible twats, I caught up with Cmdr Herault Manse this week. A personable fellow and one that I never really understood why he was in the limpdicks. Seems he had enough of there inability to exist in the open world and has in fact moved on from them. I am pleased to say that Mr Manse is no longer on my hit list. Last seen Herault was farming Ceos / Sothis where his wise decision has undoubtedly saved his life. My man Albino has been doing the old mans work like a fucking furyan deathslayer. What can I say my boy has been racking up those kills like they were going out of fashion? Herault would most certainly have been in those numbers if I had not convinced Albino to show mercy for his wise decision to fuck the limpdicks off.





it would seem however that the solonairres have been well and truly fucked over and given up, unable to make a dent in anyone’s duvet let alone their armour they have concluded their “aggressive” actions after suffering 30 losses and not a single fucking kill on anyone. We can all sleep better at night now knowing that the idiots are not gonna shoot themselves in the eye and make their first kill on one of their own.



So, what now after the excitement seems to have died down?? Well the Ratpac seem to be growing at an exponential rate, recruiting members rapidly. A harmless group of cmdrs with big ships that seem to like enjoying themselves, you cannot miss Cmdr Bush-Rats ship by the way it looks like a 900 tonne beauty salon, I mean if you do not see it coming you will smell the hairspray 100Ls away. At the rate they are recruiting i won't have anyone left to plasmatise.




And thats it for an action packed week, i am off to the bar for a stiff drink and to work off some more of this damn Mojo my old man gave me. Don't forget to make a donation as you leave, i would like to say it is optional but then so is the fact whether i let you leave at all i guess. And most of all do not forget only 80 days till my birthday fuckers so do not forget.





LOST AND FOUND



Lost : one mojo slightly grey in colour and smells a little funky, please return to Colonia Jesus before the one he has gets him a dose or somethign worse. Reward for safe return.


Found : one bale of moral fibre, belongs to the limpdicks. If one of them (if there are any left) wants to come get it then they can just fuick right off.



FOR SALE/WANTED


For sale : 2 dozen empty apartments in Post Code CL76 previous occupants have deserted and no one has a shitting clue where they went.


Wanted : New or second hand a Sheriffs badge fit for a minor Deity, in case he has a fit of lawfulness again in the future.

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